Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
