Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize