All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
