are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
