found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
barbara walters just said penis...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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