Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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