We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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