My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
