I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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