He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
