In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
