We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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