Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
