Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
