the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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