apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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