Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
