Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize