chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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