So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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