Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
