What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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