he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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