Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize