it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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