I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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