Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
