Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
