she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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