No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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