Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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