fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
