i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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