girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
