I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
