My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
