When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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