his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Everyone says I win the strip club
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
