Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
