There is no way he is gay with that hair.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
