check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think my mom watched the whole time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
