ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
