But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
