Porn is love you can see.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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