last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
