dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
