STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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