There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
