you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So. Much. Porn.
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