if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
