Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize