Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize