idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I AM VODKA MAN
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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