Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
