We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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