While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
