Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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