ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
