I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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