You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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