1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
