my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
